Loud, Persistent Guidette Attempts to Secure Ideal Seat 5 Minutes into Previews for Avatar

NEW YORK, NY--A loud, persistent guidette was overheard asking multiple movie goers if, "anybody [is] sittin' theyuh," roughly 5 minutes into the Monday, 4:15 showing of Avatar at Regal Cinemas Union Square.

32-year-old Angela Guilarducci, a Verizon Customer Service Representative from Staten Island, reportedly went from row to row asking movie goers if "anybody [is] sittin' theyuh," while pointing to seats that were occupied by winter coats and scarves, multiple sources confirmed.

"I don't know what the fuck she was thinking," said Trapper Benningham, 24, from Murray Hill. "I mean, first of all, this is Manhattan. If you want a decent seat for even the worst movie you have to get there half an hour early. Second of all, this is a blockbuster in its first weekend, a holiday weekend, from the same asshole who brought us Titanic. Then you have the fact that it's in 3D, so everybody's trying extra hard to avoid seats in the front and on the side. Add all that up, mix in the the fact that this movie is like 20 years in the making, and you've got people lining up outside the theater a good hour before the show," continued Mr. Benningham.

"Then this fucking idiot thinks she's gonna waltz in here 5 minutes into the previews and find a prime seat in the upper level?"

"Really?"

At one point, Ms. Guilarducci was seen returning to seats she had previously inquired about and looking into their potential availability a second time, "like some sort of crackhead who forgot you rejected her first request for change," said Jeremy Goldstein, 26, of the Upper West Side.

Witnesses say patrons were particularly distressed at Ms. Guilarducci's inability to pick up on nonverbal indicators of seat occupancy believed to be commonplace throughout the United States. "I always thought it was a pretty universal sign that jacket-in-the-seat equals 'seat taken'" said Mr. Goldstein.

As of press time, representatives for Ms. Guilarducci had responded to repeated inquiries with only, "how about heuh? Anyone sittin' heuh?"